I want to share a heartwarming experience I had at my outpatient clinic yesterday. An 85-year-old lady in a wheelchair came in to discuss her shortness of breath and high blood pressure. When I looked at her, I noticed a remarkable calmness on her face.
As we chatted, I asked her how she spends her time. She told me that she enjoys sitting outside her house, where many neighborhood ladies come to share their stories and experiences. Most of the time, they vent about their lives. But here’s the interesting part: she never discusses her own family matters with them. She said she considers herself a good listener, and that’s her role in these conversations.
Curious about how she became such a great listener, I asked her about it. She shared a lovely piece of advice her father gave her when she got married. He told her, "My dear daughter, you're going to a house of strangers. You don’t know anyone there, so make them your own. Remember two things: if your lentil bowl has less salt, add some more. And if it has too much salt, add a little water. Don’t focus on what’s wrong or complain about it."
She has lived by this wisdom, building strong social and family relationships along the way. I found this to be such a beautiful lesson: a lot of stress in life comes from focusing on others' faults and trying to judge them by our standards, expecting them to behave as we want. By not seeing faults in others, we can foster better relationships and enjoy a more relaxed life.